Project 300 - One Year Anniversary

I just noticed today that it's the first anniversary of the end of Project 300. After the agony of Mackris v. O'Reilly, I was determined to keep things light, breezy and short. The whole gist of the project was to write a new piece for brass ensemble every day until I hit 300. Why 300? Well, let's just say I had a lot of time on my hands. I started in mid-April 2007 and finished in early March 2008. Yeah, it really did burn me out, but I wrote a ton of very nice music, and I think the final time count is over 13 hours. That's a lot of music. Like with Mackris v. O'Reilly, I thought this project would lead somewhere. And like Mackris v. O'Reilly it didn't. But it served as a wonderful technical exercise that proved that I could write good music very quickly. And to this day, I'm proud of the massive effort I put forth to complete it. I'm not sure where the will to get it done came from.

A year has passed, and what a difficult year it's been. I put Project 300 behind me, moved on to other things and seldom revisit it. Heck, after my music hosting site went TU, I didn't even bother to find another one and repost, so all the links are dead. But just today I gave a listen to a few tunes - some of which I don't even remember writing - and I still feel that same satisfaction in my work. You know, I've recently been experiencing this extreme crisis of confidence in nearly everything I do. It's led to a kind of creative paralysis. I have ideas, but I can't realize them because I encounter this wall of hopelessness. I think about all the ways that the piece won't succeed. Where the hell has my optimism gone?

I guess the only way to write music again is to force myself. And to convince myself that the only way to go is to write another large piece. Listening to selections from Project 300 is inspiring, but it's like listening to somebody else's music. That's how far I've gone away from last year's friggin' glory. But if I was able to do it then, I can do it again. I've always said that in order to write music, you have to induce some form of mental illness. I think my current problem is that everything looks so bleak that the last thing I need to be at the moment is slightly crazy. Yes, I suppose insanity is the key.

Well, once again, happy first anniversary, Project 300! I hope that your second anniversary finds me in a much more conducive frame of mind.